Sardar's Letter

Pyaarey puttar,

Vahe Guru.

I'm writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they wouldn' t have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I' m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice
last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. By the way I took bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is a admash.He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove? Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don' t know whether you are
an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Satinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Love Mom. P.S : I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.


Reply..
Sub: The reply of the sardarji son to his mother's letter.
My dear mummy,

Vahe guru.

I am very sorry that I am so late in replying to your letter. You were right, it took me fifteen days to read your letter. The last few lines are yet to be read, so I do not know, whether it was your letter or some one else wrote to me. I am very slow in writing also. I do not know how to write a letter properly . So I copied a letter written by a friend to his mother. But I copied the address also. Please do not mind for that. I hope you have received that letter. You must have been confused after getting
that letter as to who really wrote that to you, since I copied the sender's name and address also. So, I am trying to write again to you. This time if I write my name wrongly, please be assured that it is I only.
I started writing this letter five days back. That was on Monday. I'll try to finish it on coming Monday so that you'll think that I have written it on the same day. That will definitely surprise you. I am taking the health tonic regularly. I always forget to shake the bottle before taking the medicine. So I have to jump up and down atleast fifty times after taking the medicine. I hope, fifty times is good enough? Here we have
problems from mosquitoes. We are asked to use mosquito nets. I am also using
one.
But even then I am attacked by mosquitoes all night. So I have decided to allow all the mosquitoes to come inside the net, then I can sleep peacefully outside. That may take few more months. So, I have to bear this problem only for few more months. I remember your advice to brush my teeth regularly. To save time, I brush seven times on Sundays and I do not have to brush on weekdays. If this letter does not reach you, please let me know immediately, and I'll write another letter to you. If you do not
receive my next letter also, please inform me. After that, I'll not post any letters, but I'll personally go home and deliver the letters to you. I am so sorry that you could not send some money, since the envelope had been already sealed! I am sending the opened envelope, along with your letter, again to you. Please put the money this time. I am in need of money. Some friends walked down from the city to the college campus to save money.
Joginder, my sardar friend came running after a city bus to save Rs. 3., the city bus fare. But I came running after a taxi and saved Rs. 25., the taxi fare. After saving Rs. 25 like that, I spent the money in eating in a restaurant. Another Monday had come and gone. Today is another Monday and I am able to finish my writing on the same day. Not much to write, so many things are happening here that I have no time to write.

Your son

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P.S. I am sending the coat you sent to me by post, (cutting all the buttons and putting them in the pocket to reduce the weight). Please fix the buttons for me. To reduce the weight of the coat, I have removed the hands and some portion from the back. You could have already done that instead of removing the buttons. You know, I can not fix buttons.