Love 4.0 From Heart Systems Software

Customer Service Rep: Hello, you have reached the Heart Systems

Software Company help desk. How may I help you?



Customer: I just received your latest program, LOVE 4.0...you

know...the freeware. I don't understand it. Can tell me how to

install it?



CS Rep: Sure thing ma'am. Do you have the installation disk and

instructions with you?



Customer: Yes I do, but first can you tell me what the program

does?



CS Rep: Sure thing ma'am. LOVE is a unique program, there is no

other like it in the world. LOVE attaches to your operating

system and runs silently in the background, you will never see

LOVE on your monitor or your toolbar, but you will notice its

affect on every application you may have. It makes the good

programs run smoother and greatly restricts and/or deletes the

bad ones.



Customer: Wow! That sounds great. How does LOVE make my machine

run smoother?



CS Rep: Well, good sound files, like COMPLIMENT.WAV,

ENCOURAGEMENT.WAV, and KINDWORD.WAV will play frequently. Also,

FORGIVENESS.EXE will be invoked every time there is an external

violation, including the ever-popular syntax errors. Also, all

those aggravating errors that say "unable to connect" will be

avoided. LOVE allows for a smooth connection with external

devices, regardless of what country it is manufactured in, the

brand name, or the age of the model.



Customer: That's exactly what I need, my machine has been

isolated for too long. But what about the bad programs?



CS Rep: Good question. LOVE searches your memory for programs

like HATE.COM, BITTERNESS.EXE, SELFISH.COM, and SPITE.EXE. These

programs can't be entirely deleted off your hard drive, but LOVE

overpowers those programs. LOVE stops their commands from being

executed and runs its own instructions. You will no longer hear

INSULT.WAV and you wont be able to write with the fonts

"BADWORDS12" or "HARSHNESS10."



Customer: That's a fantastic program you have. Are the upgrades

free too?



CS Rep: They sure are ma'am.



Customer: How do I get the upgrades?



CS Rep: That's easy. Once you have LOVE installed and running,

it automatically copies a module, or a piece of itself, to every

external Hard drive Email And Remote Terminal (HEART) that it

comes in contact with. In turn, those external devices run

whatever version of LOVE they have and return a module to your

HEART. You will be upgraded with each and every module that you

receive. But you have to remember, to receive the upgrades you

have to be running LOVE and you have to come into contact with

other computers while it is running.



Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I

am ready to install now. What do I do first?



CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located

your HEART ma'am?



Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running

right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?



CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?



Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,

GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.



CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE

from your current operating system. It may remain in your

permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.

LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its

own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn

off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE

from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?



Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me

how?



CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke

FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until

GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.



Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself

automatically. Is that normal?



CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it

will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that

message?



Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?



CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.

You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the

upgrades.



Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I

do?



CS Rep: What does the message say?



Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL

COMPONENTS." What does that mean?



CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means

that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has

not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated

programming things but In nontechnical terms it means you have to

"LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.



Customer: So what should I do?



CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?



Customer: Yes, I have it.



CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.



Customer: Thank you.



Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy

them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,

REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite

any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming

programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all

directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make

sure it is completely gone and never comes back.



Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat

files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows

that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying

themselves all over my HEART!



CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able

to handle it from here One more thing before I go...



Customer: Yes?



CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various

modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with

other people and they will return some really neat modules back

to you.



Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.